The Things Almost 3 Year Olds Say

Parenting is entirely relentless.  Sure, it bothers me when I don’t get to finish my diet coke when it’s still cold or my coffee when it’s hot but I’ll tell you what – almost-3-year-old toddlers MORE than make up for that with the stuff that they say.

We were in Wales over the weekend and watched the movie ‘About Time’ with my brother and SIL (have you seen it?) and it made me laugh, cry and want to rewind to my childhood and listen to the things I would have said as an almost-3-year-old.

Levis imagination and rationale is really spiking to new levels at the minute – it’s so sweet to listen to him make up stories, piece together situations and play pretend with things that are (and something are not) around him.

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I reckon in the midst of the tiredness, the never-ending fetching, feeding and answering questions, God knew we would need some light relief and made toddlers the funniest stage of human beings.

Here are a few of my personal favs from just the last week:

–  The other night Levi (I thought) had been asleep for about 20 minutes when he appeared at the top of the stairs and shouted for me.  I asked him what was wrong and he said ‘he needed help with his knee’.  I put him back into bed and he went back to sleep instantly.  I went downstairs equally amused as I was confused.

–  He currently calls the Hospital the ‘Hostible’ – I’ve always hoped any child of mine would say this.  Please don’t ever grow out of this, Levi.  I promise, chicks WILL dig it when you’re still saying it like that at 24.  He also says ‘marshMELLow’ and it just about breaks my heart it’s so cute.  I am running out of ways to sneakily get him to say it without having to actually give him one each time.

–  Last night we were driving home from the airport when out of the blue he chirps from the back:

Levi:  ‘Remember the toys we gave to the poor children? (maybe need to work on our language around poverty with him)’

Me:  ‘Yes, pet – at Christmas?’

Levi:  ‘Yeah.  I miss them.  I want them back’

So we’ve nailed that bit where you’re supposed to teach your children to think of others, then….

–  Finally, have you ever brought your toddler into the ladies public toilet cubicles with you?  That’s a world of embarrassment just waiting to happen….do it.  Last night in the airport loos Levi opened the door while I was ON the loo, with only my foot to try and scramble it closed again.  THEN as he rummaged in my backpack a tampon fell out and into the next cubicle to which he shouted ‘HEY, IT’S MY WHISTLE!’ as the kind person in the next cubicle handed it silently back underneath the stall.

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Welcome to parenting baby, it will make you laugh until your sides hurt but don’t forget to leave your dignity at the door.

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12 thoughts on “The Things Almost 3 Year Olds Say

  1. Dignity? I thought that went out the window with pregnancy 😉 I am loving the kiddisms from my almost 3 year old too. We had a party on the weekend and so had a crate of beer left ready to go down to the cellar. My hubby rarely drinks beer but I get a call through the door to warn me that my son was trying to get at “daddy’s favourite juice”!

    • Haha – we had a similar incident like that the other week as we rolled the shopping cart around M&S he just kept saying (loudly) ‘MUMMY, DONT FORGET THE WINE. MUMMY, THE WINE. WE NEED WINE.’

      The shame! They’re just so funny though, eh?

    • cringe! To be fair to him, he did ask later on if the other children were happy with his toys – bless him!

  2. “I wuv you” never fails to make me watery eyed and I never ever want to correct the pronounciation. Also giving the invisible tiger that hangs out at our house a hug and a kiss makes my heart sing 🙂

  3. oh like when I feel like a superior parent for teaching my daughter the ‘proper’ names for all her parts….then she shouts them out in public toilets….about herself, ME….you know. Love it.

    • Haha brilliant! I’d love to see your ‘isn’t she cute I’m not embarrassed’ face after you come out of the cubicle! X

  4. The Hebrews in Egypt had children so they had joy in their lives. And it just gets better Mel. My six year old makes me laugh so hard i almost pee on a regular basis. Last night Quinn told me “i love you more than anyone. Wait! Youre third. I love God, then Jesus, then you. But you’re my first human that i love.”

    • Oh Amber, your kids crack me up – I love reading your posts about the things they do/say. You’re such a fun mama xo

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