There she is! The monarch of the moment. The main Majesty.
Fair play to Lizzie, she had a pretty full-on weekend. She endured the elements, the incessant anthem serenading, and even Cheryl Coles performance at the Jubilee concert. However, I lack any kind of enthusiasm for the Royals these days. I don’t really get all the fuss and adoration for them although in saying that I don’t have any kind of angst towards them either. It’s not their fault they were born into a lineage of elitism.
All this jubilee faffing has got me thinking about old Liz and the life she must have had. I caught a little bit of the tribute programme that HRH Prince Charles hosted for his mother showing family video footage from their childhood etc and it was quite refreshing to see her engaging with her family and showing some humanity.
As I watched the balcony reception outside Buckingham Palace on the telly I couldn’t help feeling sorry for them at the lack of warmth they display in public. I imagine if I was Kate Middleton (which I often did imagine back when I was a little girl and used to write letters to Prince William – CRINGE) I would want to throw my arms around the Queen and give her a big squeeze on the balcony “Look! They’re all here for you! Isn’t that MAD!?”. I’d be high-fiving the crap out of my in-laws and chucking my hands up in the air in a ‘raise the roof’ fashion to the British public as a sign of solidarity. I’d love to see this family give their adoring public something warm to aspire to. Although maybe the untouchable, mysterious nature of how they engage with each other is what keeps the world fascinated by them…?
And it’s that mystery that got me thinking about what actually does go on behind the doors of the Palace. So I’ve mulled it over and compiled a list of my top ten questions that I’d love to ask Queenie, given the chance to chat to her over a brew and a tunnocks.
Here they are:
1) Do you shave your own legs? Obviously probably not now…she wouldn’t necessarily give a crap about leg hair now, but back in the day – did she do all that grooming herself? Was there a royal shaver? A gold plated razor?
2) Have you ever had a McDonalds? I mean surely she’s heard of McDonalds and got a bit curious and sent for a Big Mac Meal?
3) Do you have a favourite spot on the sofa? We all do. That one wee spot that within perfect vision of the TV, perfect reaching distance of the coffee table and right beside a plug socket for using your gadgets while you charge them. Does our Queenie love a good flop on the sofa?
4) Have you ever got really into a boxset? I reckon Downton is a given, but do you think she’s ever stayed up into the wee hours for ‘just one more’ episode of Greys?
5) Do you ever just drink out of the tin? We all know there’s nothing more refreshing than an ice cold tin of something… Maybe when the curtains are drawn and she’s in her jim-jams she cracks open a diet sprite and settles in for the night…
6) Bath or shower? A bath seems more regal, and I can’t overly imagine Queenie scrubbing down in the shower. Not that anyone should imagine that.
7) Related to question 6, do you ever wrap your hair in a towel turban after you wash it?
8) Do you have a passport? I mean, do you legally HAVE to have one? It’s not like you rock up to Heathrow ever, but does one need one for traveling the globe?
9) Do you buy regular old birthday presents for your children/grandchildren?
10) And last but not least – what make up range do you use? Are you a Chanel girl? A bit of Benefit? Is there a royal make up range that is top secret to us common folk?
These are just a few of my questions for our Lizzy. If you had a 10 minute window will all access to her life – what would you want to know? I’d love to hear your most intriguing questions…
Answers on a postcard of a corgi! (or just in the comments would suffice)