I’ve just sat on the sofa to write this having completed one of the busiest weeks ever. While I’ve been off most days and nights doing lots of activism stuff, Dave has been holding down the fort at home.
Traffik-free chocolate for Levi!
There’s no doubt about it, the transition from being a couple to being parents brings an incredible depth to your relationship with your partner. It also brings a little healthy dash of chaos.
You have to add another tiny, entirely-dependent-on-you-little-person into the mix of a dynamic that once was quite simple. The dynamic inevitably changes and the weight of priorities shuffles about to be spread out over the three of you. It’s pretty easy to let the spread of that priority shift weigh pretty heavy on the side of the tiny entirely dependent little person.
Really quickly you can find yourself coming into the house and asking a run-down of baby related questions before you ask how the other person is doing. You run out of the house smothering the baby in smoochies and forget to kiss your partner goodbye. You can be so exhausted from the demands of the day and crash out in the evening behind phones, computer and tv screens instead of talking about whats going on in your lives. We’re so guilty of having got the priority spread really wrong at times. It’s so easy to do and intentions are so pure. We are learning a lot about being precious about our relationship, about our couple time, our family time and about how to prioritise each other a bit better.
With last week having been so manic for me, Levi has had a lot of daddy time. One of the best things about being a parent has to be seeing your partner become a parent and observing them loving your child. I LOVE watching my guys together. Dave takes the time to teach Levi so much.
He teaches him to be adventurous (“jump off the windowsill into daddys arms!”), he goes to extreme lengths to make him laugh (some of this involves a bit of a booty slap dance routine – don’t ask him to do it – it’s for our eyes only and for all our sakes, it’s better that way), he challenges Levi to try new things and develop (even when those things are climbing the stairs and I’m pretty sure we are going to regret that one).
And this little guy ADORES his dad (evident by his constant da-da-da’ing) and even now, at just one year old I can see him imitating Dave, admiring him as he watches his every move and wanting his approval and praise when he does something. It’s just the best thing ever.
SO – even when we get the balance wrong; when we are consumed with the chaos of bedtime routines, food-envy, changing nappies that make our eyes sting and washing mountains of weetabix stained vests, I know to be grateful. It will all even out eventually.