I’ve had a lot of response from my last tweet/fb status about feeling sad at seeing so many pics of young girls I know and love in slutty haloween outfits. Chances are if you think that it was directed to you – I love you and it probably was.
Here’s the thing – us girls need to call each other out on this stuff! The boys certainly aren’t gonna. So here are some of my thoughts on this topic and my non-expert, but deep-love filled and concerned advice to the beautiful girls, young ladies and women in my life and beyond.
If I were to ask most of the girls I was referring to in my tweet/status what kind of boy they want to end up with, they’d probably all say the same thing:
Someone that respected them; someone they could have a laugh with, that loved them, treated them well and thought they were beautiful.
I want to tell you how it is because I love you:
When you dress skanky, you attract skanky. I’m sorry but it’s true.
The kind of boys you attract are the ones who want to stare at you, touch you and have sex with you. They don’t want to know what you think. They don’t want to know what makes you scared, laugh, or cry.
I say this bluntly in an attempt to save you some heartache and years of hating yourself and having no self esteem and a warped image of your own worth.
None of the kind of boys you really want to end up with are really interested in having long term committed relationships with girls that always have their bodies on display. Sure, all boys love girls bodies, and will always be attracted to a little cleavage or skin – but the boy you want to give your heart to isn’t the boy who paws all over you at the club. It isn’t the boy who texts you asking for a blow job, and it certainly isn’t the boy who sleeps with you and then slags you off to his mates.
There’s plenty of time for being sexy and having fun with sexy outfits when you’re with the person you intend to be with forever. Don’t waste all that fun on losers.
Please do yourself a favour and make a pact with your girlfriends to start to get your power back as a beautiful strong young ladies. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look sexy and take care of your appearance. In fact, its quite the opposite.
Here’s my advice for the outside stuff…
– Try being glamorous without the false everything. (a little tanning mouse should go a LONG way; and I’m not entirely sure, but I think false eyelashes and extensions are probably not an every day outfit essential)
– Wear clothes that flatter your body, not clothes you have to squeeze into. You look uncomfortable and you probably are.
– Wear perfume that makes you smell nice but don’t douse yourself in it. (the less is more theme continues…)
– Being a drunk is not sexy or glamorous. If you’re going to drink, that’s cool – but not knowing how you got home and sleeping/drooling all over your friends at the end of the night is tacky. You’re better than that.
– And finally – STOP comparing your body, your skin, your boobs, your hair to your mates (we all do it!) – you are YOU and chances are other people envy things about you too. It’s just so pointless and only ever leads to jealousy and hurt. Love what you have and get used to it.
And the heart of what I am trying to say…
Above all else, this is about character. Be a beautiful person.
– Don’t bitch about your friends to each other or to boys. Sort issues out thoughtfully and quickly. We need to stick together.
– Don’t hide your talents; be confident with the gifts and skills you’ve been given. The world needs what you have to offer! Be creative. You’re never too young to set yourself goals and really go for it.
– If you don’t know what you’re good at, try something, anything! Take classes, meet lots of new people, discover what you are good at and what fun can be had outside of a night on the rip.
– Be good to people; volunteer your time to help someone else, be a good listener, include someone who is always left out. Be someone your friends want to share things with, and someone other people admire.
These are only some of the qualities that make someone attractive, and make people want to be around you.
You are beautiful and strong, now believe it and show it.